The Beginning of Motherhood

When do we officially become a mom? Is it when the baby is born? Is it at conception? Some time before that? Maybe it's some time in between. For those whose children were brought to them through adoption, was it when you decided to start the process? When you were chosen by a birth mom? When you held the baby for the first time?

I think that answer is probably different for everyone. For me, it was when I first found out I was pregnant. That moment was so surreal, and very unexpected. We had not been trying, in fact, we were preventing! But it was still one of the most exciting moments of my life to that point. I was going to have a baby! I immediately started reading every book and internet article about pregnancy that I could get my hands on.

I had a good friend lend me the book Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake. It totally changed everything for me! Up until this point, I would tell anyone that I didn't want to feel a thing in childbirth. I wanted to go in the moment I felt a twinge and get whatever drugs they'd give me. I also had zero desire to breastfeed. The whole idea seemed so weird to me. Well after reading this book, I wanted to stay as far away from the drugs as I could. I wanted a completely natural birth, maybe even a HypnoBirth like they mentioned some women do. I think this is also where I decided I wanted to breastfeed my baby. I watched The Business of Being Born, the documentary that goes along with the book. It was amazing! I felt so empowered and so excited, but also sad at how birth has become in our society.

During these months I also read HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method by Marie Mongan and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin. I really wished I could take a HypnoBirthing class, but there were none in my area at the time. So I took Lamaze from the local hospital instead. I liked some parts of the class, and disliked others. I also took a breastfeeding class and an infant safety class. I wanted to be as prepared as possible! I was very much already a mother, even though my baby had not been born yet.

What was it like for you?